How This Happened AKA: Woulda, Shoulda, Coulda

Unlike many men, my husband sees out Family Doctor on a regular basis. I insist on it. Unfortunately, now that things are where they are, I realize that he listens but doesn't hear. 

However, like many men, my husband would masturbate occasionally, and in January 2017 when he almost casually mentioned that there was blood in his semen, I was (naturally) alarmed. He was going in to see the doctor anyway, so I had him tell the doctor and he listened, proclaimed it a UTI (urinary tract infection) prescribed antibiotics, and ordered a urine test. This was in spite of me requesting a PSA test. (https://www.mayoclinic.org/tests-procedures/psa-test/about/pac-20384731) Our doctor said it was way too expensive an often inconclusive. He didn't even give a digital rectal exam. Naturally I was upset, but I thought maybe the doctor knew what he was talking about.

Over the months, my husband's sex drive went lower, and he blamed his age, but, again, I was concerned. The doctor sided with my husband, and I was the odd one out, so I was ignored. After all, the bleeding was no longer taking place, and he was feeling fine. I've watched people who were "feeling fine" die, only to find out that they were seriously ill and didn't know it. I was accused of being an alarmist, but hey! He's my husband, and I was concerned. I mean, how difficult is a PSA test anyway? The doctor did all sorts of other tests on a routine basis, so why not just do it to shut me up? 

Then, just about a year ago, my husband was up every hour urinating. Prostate! I said, Diabetes! said the doctor. Fine, but would it be so difficult to do a PSA test? I hate it when I speak up and I'm ignored like I'm a stupid child. I was beginning to resent the doctor. In January 2018, my husband actually had a UTI. BUT he also mentioned a decreased semen output. Antibiotics again, and the doctor said my husband might need to see a Urologist. In May 2018, my husband again mentioned the deceased semen output, and that it "looked funny." Again he doctor said my husband might need to see a Urologist. My husband was finally starting to see that maybe my concerns weren't so farfetched. Finally, in September 2018, my husband mentioned abdominal pain when urinating and the decreased semen output. The doctor said UTI, and my husband might need to see a Urologist.

At that moment, The heavens opened and an angelic choir sang as my husband told the doctor "You said that the last three times I mentioned this. Can't you just get me a referral?" Okay, so the heavens didn't open, and there was no angelic choir, but it felt that way to me. Two weeks later, on a Friday morning, my husband and I sat down with the Urologist. My husband works graves, and he had just completed his workweek, and he was more surly than usual, so when the Urologist said he wanted an MRI first and didn't do a a digital rectal exam, or order a PSA test, my husband was grouchy about it. I apologized to the Urologist, explained about the graves, and then the Urologist patiently explained why the MRI was done first. Apparently (DUH!) it shows problems quickly, and then, if necessary, a PSA test is done.

What I didn't notice was that the MRI was labeled ASAP. Before we even got home, the MRI people were calling to make an appointment. The following Friday, the MRI was done. On the following Tuesday, we were told another MRI was necessary because the "doctor needed more views" I missed the red flags. I was just happy that something was being done. We waited for the Urologist to call us, but the call never came. Apparently my husband was told to call a week after the MRI but he didn't hear it (he's hard of hearing), and I didn't remember it. He finally went to see our doctor who had his receptionist look into it. She called me the next day, telling me that my husband could only get those results from the Urologist. 



The soonest we could get an appointment was November 30^th so we waited patiently and carried on as if it was any other November/Thanksgiving. Why worry when you can't do anything about something? I'm getting tired now, (I'm a chronic insomniac, and I need a nap) so I'll write about the Urologist visit next time.