Last Week, You Ask?

Making The Struggle Worth The Hassle...

I'm not made for emotional pain and heartache. It destroys me to the core. The situation with my Husband's prostate cancer has all but destroyed me in so many ways, yet I still come out fighting. Fighting for him, because when it all comes down to the basics, he is MY Husband. MINE!!! and there isn't a single person on earth who will feel his loss as much as me, or even the same way that I would. Keeping him alive and feeling well is my number one priority. I might destroy myself in the process, but as long as he is alive and feeling well, I win. I would gladly sacrifice my life for him, and these aren't just words on a page or a computer document. I mean it, and unless you've seen me, the whole me, you have no idea just how strongly I feel that.

Now, before I go off on a tangent, One of the final things the original GP did was refer my Husband to an Oncologist. This wasn't just an Oncologist, but one of the best and highest rated in the area, but we didn't know that. All we knew was that this Oncologist was local, and he had a funny name. The appointment was on Monday last week (3-18), and after all the stress, we didn't have very high hopes. The pile of paperwork they handed to my Husband was more than he's ever filled out before. When he was called in, we went into a nice exam room and waited. My emotions have been all over the place, and my husband has been guarded in showing his since the last breakdown in tears over a month ago, and this Oncologist with the funny name put us both at ease, and he listened. Being heard is the one thing that was lacking with our original GP, and I've had it with false reassurances. I want the truth, my Husband wants the truth, and both of us want to do whatever we can so my Husband lives as long as possible, and stays feeling well.

The Bad News:

I'm not a fool. I spent years caring for people who were close to death, and I've seen more than my share of people dying, so when the Oncologist said that if my husband went untreated, he could expect to live "maybe a year." I wasn't surprised. I kind of expected it. After all, my Husband had advanced aggressive metastatic prostate cancer that is in his lymph system.

The Good News:

The Oncologist said that the first line of defense was prescribing an anti-androgen medication that would reduce the testosterone in my Husband's body, because prostate cancer feeds on testosterone. Casodex taken once a day decreases testosterone production.

The Treatment Plan:

According to the Oncologist, Casodex will often stop the prostate cancer in its tracks. Lupron injections will be used as well, but sometimes Lupron will actually increase the testosterone levels at first, which is why they start with Casodex. Another side effect is that his hair on his head might even grow! (yummy long hair!) That made me smile, because I love my Husband's long hair, and I was afraid it might fall out. Apparently not with the starting treatments.

Tests Ordered:

1. Blood tests for PSA and Testosterone as a start, because there's a good chance that those have both increased, and the goal is to get the PSA to 0 (zero) This will be done on a regular basis.

2. Full body CT scan to find out how much the cancer has metastasized. Ordered as URGENT but we're still waiting on insurance to approve the test.

3. Brain MRI to determine if the cancer has metastasized to the brain. Ordered as URGENT but we're still waiting on insurance to approve the test.

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The NEW GP:

Strangely enough, my Husband's new GP also has a funny last name, and when I tell people they laugh, because one is the opposite of the other.

Negative Things:

Parking is difficult to find. We also had to wait in the waiting room for about an hour, and then another hour in the exam room.

Positive Things:

When the doctor came in, he was thorough. In fact, he spent over an hour talking and asking important questions, including about the prostate cancer. He ordered a full panel of blood tests for my husband including blood sugar, A1C, liver function and kidney function, plus a few others I can't remember. He was definitely worth the wait.

How We Feel:

We finally feel like our concerns are being taken seriously. We're feeling much more positive and good because both the Oncologist and GP are actively listening and involved, and not leaving us in the dark. Yes, this is an uphill battle, and I've been under extreme stress, and it has affected my general health, but I know it will get better. My husband is slowly starting to talk about things, and I think that our relationship will only improve. No longer feeling helpless, I'm speaking up, and (finally!) my husband is too. We also jointly decided that appointments are to be made in the early afternoon.

Still, we wait, but no longer passively.