Implant?

In the early morning hours of yesterday (Thursday) I dragged my tired self out of bed, showered, and got dressed to take my husband to the the hospital Oncology clinic for his implants. (https://alostwifesjourney.blogspot.com/2019/08/what-what-up-butt-slightly-naughty.html)

Sure, we both grumble about these early morning hours for tests and such, but it's kind of a new "normal" for us. Neither of us really slept well, but, again, new "normal."

For all pre-prep it took, and all the paperwork, the actual procedure was maybe 10 minutes.  In fact, I had just gotten settled when he walked out of the procedure room. This was the first time I wasn't allowed to go in with him, not that I minded.

We left our house at 7:30, and we got home about 9:15. He went straight to bed, and I stayed up to have some breakfast, and then joined him in bed.  When I got up, I did some research on our weekend plans.

Weekend Plans?

Saturday (the 14th) is 6 years to the day that we got married, and if you think about it, it's kind of sad that we're celebrating it by doing an item on our "Bucket List," but that's what we're doing. The plan is that I'll drive and activities we do together will depend on how he's feeling. I've picked out one activity I can do solo, so the plan is to do it when he's resting. I might add more once we get there, but we'll see. Most of the activities planned don't require lots of walking, and it seems that walking (or any physical activity) wears him out quickly, and then he gets (understandably) cranky like a toddler in need of a nap.

We just want to make memories and enjoy each other's company in a relaxed environment. The important thing (what I'm telling myself) is that we don't place expectations on each other. I so want this to be pleasant and fun, but I worry, because, well, that's what wives do when their husband is seriously ill.

We should be home by Tuesday (the17th) at the latest.

Playing our song:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-KT-r2vHeMM

What What! Up The Butt? (slightly naughty)

Sorry to disappoint, but there's no buttsex here.

Even more (slightly) disappointing was that we saw the Charge Nurse in the Radiation clinic. We had met her before, back in early May when we met the Radiation Oncologist for the first time.

It turned out that this was more a case of signing paperwork, and an instructional for his prostate implant. The proper name for the procedure is "Implantation of  Fiducial Markers into Prostate." A fiducial marker is a small 18kt gold pellet about the size and shape of a grain of rice. Yes, they're putting gold up his butt!

Prep includes two (2!) Fleet enemas the morning of the procedure, and they will be doing a rectal ultrasound when they insert the markers. He goes in on the morning of September 12th, and he will have to wait 2-3 weeks before the radiation starts. Radiation will be 5 days a week for 9 weeks. By my estimate, he will be done just before Christmas.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SRCsYJ6MSNA

While I Was Sleeping

My husband and I are mostly on different sleep schedules. It can suck, and we frequently miss out on important things for each other.

Like this morning. I don't know when it happened, but I do know that shortly after my 10:35AM alarm went off, my husband walked into the bedroom, and I sang him a special version of "Good Morning Merry Sunshine" which made him smile, and then he asked me if I saw the new event on my Calendar.

I was still in bed and groggy, so I answered no, so he told me.

The Radiation Oncology Specialist called him and gave him an appointment for tomorrow(!) morning! Naturally, it's at the butt crack of dawn, and we have to leave the house at 8AM, but just the fact they gave him one so soon makes me happy.

So, onward we go, no wait necessary!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5Q9Gou6d9Uo

Today's Oncology Visit

It was a mixed bag, and unfortunately, I'm not feeling very optimistic. It's coming up on the one year mark of dealing with this, and I guess I'm more discouraged than I care to admit. 

Nobody is interested in "Doom and gloom," and I'm just frustrated. Trying to be the best I can is hard today, but my mood is merely a reflection of the results we received.

My husband has a standing lab order for his Vitamin D levels, PSA, and Testosterone.  

Vitamin D is going up. It was too low before, so this is very good news.

Not so good news is that his PSA and testosterone numbers are going back up and they aren't sure why. His PSA at the beginning of the month was 2.6, and now it’s up to 4.7, and his Testosterone was 20, and now it’s up to 24.

There's a good chance they may have to start giving him the Casodex again if it starts going up more. It's discouraging and more than a little scary especially for me. My husband is taking this in stride, because his results have been so much worse, but he knows that I take all this to heart, and some days are more difficult emotionally for me.

His MRSA infection also came back, which means there might be a delay in other treatments until that goes away completely.

The Oncologist gave him a new prescription for a stronger antibiotic. Now we just have to wait and see if it works.

Oh, and we're still waiting on insurance to approve the radiation.

So while we wait, I will grumble for a little while.

Oncologist Appointment Results

I'm making this quick and dirty.

Good/bad news... 

The biopsy results from 2 weeks ago shows that the prostate cancer has metastasized (spread) to the pelvic lymph nodes. I mentioned it in my previous entry.

According to the Oncologist, this was expected, so please don't feel sad. The radiation can now get scheduled.

Numbers:

PSA  ("Normal" is 4, Goal is 0)

Early January: 120 

Early April: 98

Mid June: 4.1

Today: 2.6

Testosterone ("Normal" for a 62 y/o man is 200 Goal is <50)

Early April: 330 (Enviable by most men, bad for prostate cancer, because it feeds on testosterone)

Mid May: 500+ (initial side effect of Lupron even with the Casodex, this was surprising!)

Mid June: 25

Today: 20

Of note: Lupron destroys testosterone in the body, so estrogen takes over. There have been changes to my husband's body, notably, less body hair overall, and more scalp hair. I also noticed breast tissue development, and the Oncologist said it was normal.

For Comparison: The picture on the left was taken just over a year ago, and the one on the right today.

Notice the difference in body hair, chest, and weight.

So now there's more waiting.

It's About Time

Time:  Never enough, too much, wait, wait, wait!

In my last entry, I mentioned that my husband's last biopsy of his lymph glands was inconclusive, so the Oncologist ordered another one, this time deeper in the pelvic cavity, and that we were waiting to get it approved by insurance. We spend lots of time waiting, and it's gotten close to a year since his (and now my) former GP finally sent a referral to a Urologist. The stress lately has not been kind to me, and, as a result, I got sick, but I'm okay now.

Anyway, the new biopsy was done last month (July) on the 26th. We have a followup to discuss the results this upcoming Thursday (the 8th) however, due to my husband falling ill, we wound up seeing his wonderful new GP this past Friday, and he casually mentioned that the biopsy results were in, and offered to tell us. We agreed that we wanted to hear them.

Understand that after all the CT scans and MRI's we knew that the cancer had metastasized to his lymph system, and that the biopsy was merely a way to confirm for insurance purposes and to target the radiation that has been postponed pending the biopsy results.

We were not surprised by the results that there was cancer in the lymph system in the pelvic cavity, but knowing and having the confirmation has brought about a weird sense of relief. It means we go on to combine radiation with the chemo.

It also means that when we go in Thursday, we can face things and make decisions in a more practical and less emotional way. Honestly, I've been mostly "cried out" for the past few months anyway. Yes, I still cry sometimes, but after a while, the tears just don't come anymore. Understand that I worry almost constantly about all this, but I also know that my husband needs me to be strong and assist him with the hard decisions, and his current desire is "fight and fight hard at any cost!" My job is to stand by him and be his bulldog.

So, yes, we are armed with the results, but there is no plan of action until after we meet with the Oncologist on Thursday.

Again, we wait...

More to come.

Does "Absence Make The Heart Grow Fonder"

Or is it "Out of Sight, Out of mind?"

Either way, here I am. My husband's health has been all over the place.  The Lupron injection raised my husband's testosterone to over 500, so he continued on Casodex  until June 20th.

You know how sometimes life just floats along with no surprises and stays quiet, relatively speaking? Well, that had been life at home until mid-June, when all hell broke loose at once.

This blog was intended to talk about my husband's health, and my concerns, so I could stay calm, butso many other things happened too, so here I am, going a little crazy.

Let's stay with my husband first: Between May and June, he had a sonogram and biopsy of his pelvic lymph glands. Those results were inconclusive, so he needs another one.  Approval from insurance takes forever, so we're still waiting.  At his June appointment, we were given some very good news.  His PSA is down to 4.1 (4 is "normal" 0 is target) and his testosterone is down to 25 (50 was target) so apparently, his numbers are good. We just hope they stay that way.

Now me: Have you ever heard the phrase "Lead By Example?" Since June 14th, I've been working on a health project for myself, and it includes taking supplements, taking my blood sugar every morning, and a nutrition chart, including fluid intake. Each chart is for a week, and my blood sugar goal is <145 at least 5 days a week, and I've met that goal,other than the first week, which was rough, but I've never gone over 160. When my husband saw what I was doing, he started doing the same (taking his blood sugar) unfortunately, his numbers have been about 450+ most days, so he was prescribed insulin a few days ago.  We see his doctor later today.  Did I mention that I didn't sleep last night?

It seems like there's a lot of hurry up and wait when it comes to my husband's cancer, and that's why there's been no journal entries.

I nearly forgot! On June 17th, my ex-husband was hit by a car on his way to work. He was riding his bicycle, and the driver didn't stop. He called me to pick him up and I was shocked by all the blood. He was off work until this past Monday (July 1st) Just another part of all hell breaking loose.

Of Note:

Since receiving the Lupron injection, my husband has had a few more good days than before, although he still has sick days more than we would like.  I'm starting to theorize that his out of control diabetes has something to do with it. 

I think I'll go back to bed now.